All We Are

"All We Are" - Matt Nathanson

I tasted, tasted love so sweet
And all of it was lost on me
Bought and sold like property
Sugar on my tongue

I kept falling over
I kept looking backward
I went broke believing
That the simple should be hard

All we are we are
All we are we are
And every day is a start of something beautiful

I wasted, wasted love for you
Traded out for something new
Well, it's hard to change the way you lose
If you think you've never won

'Cause all we are we are
All we are we are
And every day is a start of something beautiful

And in the end the words won't matter
'Cause in the end nothing stays the same
And in the end dreams just scatter and fall like rain

'Cause all we are we are
All we are we are
And every day is a start of something beautiful, something real

All we are we are
All we are we are
And every day is a start of something beautiful, beautiful 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I fell in love with this song after hearing it in an episode of NCIS. It resonates with me, especially after this past year of re-learning to love more than one person and figuring out all of the intricacies of poly. Of love, of jealousy, of compersion, communication, and understanding. But most of all, of learning to enjoy the company of another person without needing to have restrictions imposed by titles.

I love, and that is enough.

Despite the fact that I spent the last week confined to my apartment, my headspace has been okay. I largely credit the move to more populous surroundings to that. Well, that, and I've been keeping my brain occupied by watching NCIS. xD

I have been, of course, missing physical contact since I've been sick. Being under the weather (and contagious) has meant very limited physical affection for me.

Upon my return to work today, I found that I was indeed missed by many of my peers, and I also found out that the position I had applied for was filled. I'm not crushed, though. I figured I wouldn't get it from the onset, but I had to try all the same.

This weekend, Kitten and I are headed to her grandfather's to sell some of our stuff in a garage sale. Hoping to make some extra padding cash for our joint account.

The past few days, I have been home, sick in bed from work. Generally, this tends to make me cranky and lethargic because I always have to be doing something. I've camped out on one end of the couch with Kitten on the other end (we have a rather large sectional) when she's home and sleeping. I've spent a large chunk of time just sleeping since Tuesday.

Speaking of which, Tuesday, I went to work intending to go the full shift. Once there, I was miserable and cranky and decided to leave after an hour. On my way home, I stopped at Physician's Immediate Care in Plainfield and saw a doctor. I was diagnosed with a viral upper respiratory infection and also provided a prescription for cough medicine with hydrocodone and a doctor's note for work. I was also very firmly, but gently advised to stay home for a couple days to rest. Leaving on Tuesday does mean I lost my holiday pay for Monday, but I would rather not have gone to the hospital instead.

Today, I may try to do laundry and get that done. I may also see about setting up my desktop, but Kitten asked me to avoid heavy lifting, so we'll see.