Kestra'chern

A Kestra'chern always provides what you need, not necessarily what you want. Sometimes, the two run atwixt.

But what is a Kestra'chern? In the most simple terms, they are healers. When I say healer, though, I don't mean in the way that doctors heal physical afflictions. Kestra'chern certainly can provide aid in that manner, but it goes deeper than that. The term comes originally from Mercedes Lackey's novel The Black Gryphon. Amberdrake, one of the main characters in the book, is a Kestra'chern, a type of healer that specializes more in healing the metaphysical heart and soul than the physical body. There are actual healers in the world of the novel that serve as a type of doctor.

How this specifically applies to me is that people (not all, but many) will open up to me fairly easily because they know they can trust me. I detest spreading gossip and, typically, if someone tells me something, I'm not going to repeat it unless another person needs to know about it to prevent a malicious occurrence. I'm bluntly honest; I have no problem telling someone exactly what I observe and what my opinions are. I detest sugar-coating topics. If I think you're a tool, I'm going to tell you you're a tool and why I think that.

The counterpoint to being this confidant persona is that because I'm so busy being strong for others, a lot of times, my own needs to vent and be healed get pushed to the side. And they build up until I break.

I started writing this post a few weeks ago, before I had my breakdown last Monday, and find it still applies. I've also been surprised by the fact that I've had several people tell me that, despite the fact that I'm currently sitting with all of my old wounds exposed, I am still one of the strongest people they know. I have also been reminded by someone very dear to me that I need to stop thinking so much and just do; my friends and chosen family won't walk away from me when I need them.

I don't ever think I'll not be a Kestra'chern. There are aspects of being a healer-type that are ingrained into my personality, but I will be taking a lot more time for myself to ensure I keep my balance.