Lots of things have been happening with me recently. The biggest thing, of course, outside of re-learning how to swim in the waters that are polyamory, has been my SOP Review Project at work. After roughly 45 hours of work on it, it was completed at 2340 tonight. After that, I promptly knocked out the adjustments I needed to make on my monthly 5-Minute Safety Talk project, and sent that off to be reviewed, as well. Thursday afternoon, of course, I'll need to catch up on everything else I neglected to complete these projects the past 3 or so workdays.
Because I'm nosy and I had access to the folder, I stumbled on our team rankings from July 2010. After being on my team for 7-8 months, I was ranked 3rd out of 5 LPAs. Not terrible. I've had some issues recently with time management (lots of large projects will do that), but I know one of my opportunities for development (displaying my emotions) has improved. Seeing the rankings confirmed the hierarchy that we've sort of developed for ourselves, and it makes me want to work harder and smarter.
Somehow, this also translated into crafter-brain wanting to accomplish something awesome tonight, so I've got a mix of Abney Park's various albums on and I'm leathercrafting for a certain special someone. I botched up his original cuff, so I've been working on a new one that I'm much more pleased with.
Speaking of the crafter brain... All it needs are rivets and snaps.
I'm feeling sexy and free Like glitter's raining on me You like a shot of pure gold I think I'm 'bout to explode
I can taste the tension like a cloud of smoke in the air Now I'm breathing like I'm running cause you're taking me there Don't you know... you spin me out of control?
Ooh ooh ooh
We can do this all night Turn this club, skin tight Baby come on Pull me like a bass drum Sparkin' up a rhythm Baby, come on!
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Rock my world into the sunlight Make this dream the best I've ever known Dirty dancing in the moonlight Take me down like I'm a domino
Every second is a highlight When we touch don't ever let me go Dirty dancing in the moonlight Take me down like I'm a domino
You got me loosing my mind My heart beats out of time I'm seeing Hollywood stars You stroke me like a guitar
I can taste the tension like a cloud of smoke in the air Now I'm breathing like I'm running cause you're taking me there Don't you know... you spin me out of control?
Ooh ooh ooh
We can do this all night Turn this club, skin tight Baby come on Pull me like a bass drum Sparkin' up a rhythm Baby, come on!
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Rock my world into the sunlight Make this dream the best I've ever known Dirty dancing in the moonlight Take me down like I'm a domino
Every second is a highlight When we touch don't ever let me go Dirty dancing in the moonlight Take me down like I'm a domino
Ooh baby baby got me feeling so right Ooh baby baby dancing in the moonlight Ooh baby baby got me feeling so right Ooh baby baby dancing in the moonlight Ooh baby baby got me feeling so right Ooh baby baby dancing in the moonlight
Rock my world into the sunlight Make this dream the best I've ever known Dirty dancing in the moonlight Take me down like I'm a domino
Every second is a highlight When we touch don't ever let me go Dirty dancing in the moonlight Take me down like I'm a domino
I'm all three of those, and not from anything traditionally "fun". I spent today up at E's, helping him move his belongings from his ex's garage. I only got about 3 hours of sleep to begin with, so I was tired, but I gave E my word that I'd be up there at 9ish. I got up there closer to 10 am with my pit stops and we promptly began to load River up. The first few trips over were E's daughter and I hauling stuff into E's storage area. And we bonded over music, which I thought was fantastically awesome. I even managed to bond a bit with E's son over video games.
Literally the only "down" to the whole thing today was E's ex picking a fight with E in front of the kids. It pissed me off, but I didn't do anything about it because I didn't want to make the situation worse. I did vent to E later, though, about the situation. Also because I was worried about running damage control with him and the kids.
It was definitely hard work on little sleep, but I felt content with the fact that the move got done with minimal issue and minimal vehicles. I also let my brain wander about into places it hasn't previously.
E had mentioned a while ago about his ideal world of living in a poly household where there is mutual love, affection, and it's sustainable. And that's exactly what I mused over. I like E a lot (the word "love" has been mulling over in the back of my head), and I felt genuinely happy, relaxed, and calm being around him and the minions. Yes, I wish Brit had been up there with me, but I look at this as a Very Good Thing.
Friday, December 02, 2011
Two and a half more hours. That's what I keep telling myself, anyways.
I'm on lunch right now and taking a few moments to journal since I'm not
able to go off-site tonight.
Tonight has been a rough night.
While trying to get things done earlier, I got more or less chewed out
over the phone for a miss with the 5-Minute Safety Talks and my zone
audits. I'm honestly surprised I'm not getting a write-up for this, but
I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, either. I've also had a
rough night keeping my energy up long enough to get things done. I'm
ready for bed. Even though I'm only going to get 4 hours (I need to be
out the door around 7:30am to help a close friend move some things in
the morning), it'll still be sleeping.
It probably doesn't help that I feel like crap, either. I'm sleepy, not
thinking rationally, and generally feel like a failure in relation to
work.
...And here we go back to work. 0200 can't come soon enough!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
There are many things that are making me smile currently:
- Communication with my partners.
- I seem to be the go-to person at work now for research.
- Work finds value in my skills of proofreading and desktop publishing.
- Listening to a lot of J-pop.
- Webcrafting again. Yay!
- Kitten and I are constantly evolving in our relationship.
So, if you ever want something And you call, call Then I'll come running To fight, and I'll be at your door When there's nothing worth running for
When your mind's made up When your mind's made up There's no point trying to change it When your mind's made up When your mind's made up There's no point trying to stop it
You see, you're just like everyone When the shit falls all you want to do is run, away And hide all by yourself When you're far from me, there's nothing else
When your mind's made up When your mind's made up There's no point trying to change it When your mind's made up When your mind's made up There's no point even talking When your mind's made up When your mind's made up There's no point trying to fight it
So, if you ever want something And you call, call Then I'll come running
Falling further down the rabbit hole,
And I don't know how deep it goes.
All I know is this falling feels like flying
And it frees my soul and is euphoric.
I'm scared of falling fast
And hitting rock bottom,
But, perhaps I never will;
Perhaps I will keep falling forever
With only a rope to slow me
So I can savor each moment,
Drink it deep as water.
Perhaps I'm not falling down,
But falling up into the Black
That goes on forever and limitless,
Boundless Space that is the definition of
Freedom.
To Love and Be Loved.
...I originally wrote this back on January 16, 2010, but figure it applies now. Originally posted here: http://samiitiger.livejournal.com/1609585.html
Monday, November 21, 2011
For me, MFF is over. I spent the con running a hectic schedule, but it was nonetheless enjoyable.
I have a lot of processing to do yet, but I love my partners. They teamed up while I was at work on Saturday and commissioned an artist for the picture below of our fursonas. Kitten hugging me while Echo noms on my ear with Cait chasing after a ball of yarn and Tybis begrudgingly standing off to the side. I'm just in a place of happy with loved ones.
They presented it to me on Sunday, and it makes me feel happy, loved, and appreciated every time I look at it.
Now that I've had more than an hour of sleep, I am hit this morning with a delightful wave of emotion. Between play last night where Kitten and I co-topped a friend, being gently forced to sleep after I came down from Topping by Kitten and my foxboy, and simply waking up next to my fiancee and surrounded by people whom I share some level of mutual affection with, I don't care that I have to work today. While I'm hoping that I get out far earlier than originally scheduled, I'll roll with this.
Sitting here in the dark, listening to quiet snores, I feel very much at peace with myself and the world around me, and in love to some degree with each of the people in my room. To me, this is the definition of poly. Loving multiple people at the same time in their own ways and having each of those individual loves multiply and increase the bonds of the others. Appreciating and caring for each individual separately and as part of the bigger whole.
I'm tied to music in a way that most people are tied to poetry or sights or sounds. Music is wonderful for expressing how I feel. So, have a song that showed up in my past that kinda-sorta applies now.
"Cannonball" - Damien Rice
Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on
There's still a little bit of your ghost, your witness
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
That I can't say what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to lie
Life, it taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball
There’s still a little bit of your song in my ear
There’s still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon
Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to cry
So come on courage, teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't want to scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know
There's a lot going on in life right now that I'm not entirely sure where to start.
I think we'll start with my recent crush since that's pretty prevalent in my life at the moment. I'll preface this by saying that I am very much in the throes of NRE (New Relationship Energy) and I recognize it for what it's worth. But I'm really digging this guy that I'm talking with. It's been a very pleasant 3 weeks of text-chatting and flirting, and he stayed the night with Kitten and I last Saturday after our party. 'Twas very, very nice to sleep curled up between two amazing people, even if my back was arguing with it the next day. Was also not complaining about curling up with the two of them and watching Firefly Saturday night into Sunday evening.
Continuing with the bits of happy for the week, I received a call on Monday from my director notifying me that I had won a scholarship for the LPQ study materials and exam. I'm not left speechless by my job often, but I was on Monday evening. This is just the push I needed to get me back on the study/school trail. I am not complaining. I -do- have a year to complete it, but I'm aiming to complete it in the next 4 months, much like a semester in college. I'll probably start hitting the course materials hard after FurFest in a couple weeks. I sent off a thank you e-mail last night and got back a response from our department VP this morning.
Speaking of FurFest, good lords and ladies is there a lot to be excited about there. Introducing Cait and my crush to the world of furry cons, for one. I also have a playdate with a lovely green vixen at some point during the weekend. I also hear tell that I'll be working registration staff again, though I'm not quite certain when I'll be working it yet. There's also the Drum Jam that I've become infamous for.
So, yes. Times is good, if not a bit busy.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sometimes, my life takes me in very unexpected directions. This weekend, again, has been proof-positive of that.
Saturday night, after a long, exhausting, and fulfilling night being around friends, I found myself curled up between two wonderful people. And I spent most of Sunday being affectionate while curled up with these same two people. So, this morning, I am a very happy cat. I feel quite loved and appreciated.
The only real downside to the weekend is that my brakes started grinding, which means I have a brake job to do tomorrow morning. At least the calipers still work and I still have brakes. It shouldn't take me too long to do, but I do need to relocate my wrench and C-clamp. And tomorrow is supposed to be at least 8 degrees warmer. I think I can wait a day for warmer weather.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Everything's as prepped food-wise as can be tonight. Kitten's in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the Kidlets' costumes and I'm taking a small break before I need to check the grill and prep that. Excited is an understatement on many levels tonight. Not only are Kitten and I throwing our first shindig together, but someone I've taken a special liking to is going to be coming to the party. We may also run out tonight and pay the Clan Ohana a visit in their new home.
This weekend's going to be physically exhausting, I can tell, but is it ever going to be worth it! Surrounded by people I love and call friend with good food, good conversation, and good times.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
I could have danced all night!
I could have danced all night!
And still have begged for more.
I could have spread my wings
And done a thousand things I've never done before.
I'll never know What made it so exciting.
Why all at once my heart took flight.
I only know when he
Began to dance with me.
I could have danced, danced danced all night!
- "I Could Have Danced All Night", My Fair Lady
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
One of the many ways I show I care about someone is by crafting something for them. Many times, it's a mix CD or a piece of drawn art. This time, it's a piece of leatherwork. Here's to hoping the person I'm making it for likes it when it's done. More importantly, that it fits!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
If I asked Eris to stop fucking with me, I wouldn't have half the fun in
my life that I do. The past week is proof positive of that. <3
Financial shit non-withstanding, I'm content with life currently.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Oh! By the way...
If you're interested in following my adventures on a more regular basis, follow me on LJ: http://samiitiger.livejournal.com
I do keep my blog locked down with the exception of announcements for events, so you'll need an account or an equivalent to view the entries. Totally to protect the innocent. ;)
I seem to be terrible at remembering that I have this blog-space outside of following the blogs of my friends. Good grief. So, where am I at these days?
Things with Laura/Lira/Eri are over and done with. Have been for almost two years, in fact. It's a long, rambling story, but I was kicked down, kicked while I was down, and was forced to claw my way back up to standing. Crawling hurts my knees, but my claws are now sharper because of the experience. Have had a couple of lovers between Lira and my current girlfriend, and I'm happy where I'm at. Still poly (that never changed), but committed to a wonderful woman who I'll be proud to call my fiancee in very short order. She understands and accepts me being poly, especially with the caveat that I don't pursue anything outside of our established relationship without her knowledge and consent. It's always a perk, too, if I can involve her in any of my adventures. ;)
Things with OfficeMax turned sour about that point, too. This would be the kicking me while I'm down part. I fell out of alignment with the corporate machine and was cast off. I'm resourceful, though, in my networking, and found another job in short order. I've been at that job, again in Loss Prevention/Security, for almost two years. Most days I enjoy it, but it certainly tests my patience from time to time.
I also achieved some bits of awesome along the way:
- Founded Kankakee's first ever LGBTA group.
- Finally earned my motorcycle endorsement.
- Reunited (more or less) with family out west
- Found my niche in creativity (leatherwork and photography)
And there's other things and people who keep my interest. ^_^;
2 - 12oz. Bottles of Blue Moon Harvest Moon (or your favorite pumpkin ale) 1 - 12oz. Bottle of Woodchuck Draft Cider Harvest Cider (Spiced Cider can work, too.) 24 oz. Water 1- Packet of Onion Dip/Soup Mix (I got mine from Aldi) 1 small package of cubed stew beef 1 medium sized red onion, sliced and quartered 2 large portabella mushrooms, chunked 1/2 small package of baby carrots 3 small potatoes (I used russet, though you can use whatever's available or to your fancy)
Directions: 1. Prep vegetables (and meat, if necessary). 2. Toss beef in slow cooker. 3. Add onion soup mix, toss to cover meat. 4. Add pumpkin ale and spiced cider. 5. Add vegetables. 6. Add water. 7. Close the lid of your slow cooker, set the cook time to 8 hours. 8. Sit back and relax and wait for everything to finish.
Still over at LJ. Haha. Haven't been here for 3 years AGAIN. So, for those of you following me here, let's do a rundown of what's happened the past 3 years, shall we?
Work: - Started working for AlliedBarton Security on 11/27/2006. Kristina's birthday. - Started working at OfficeMax Bryn Mawr on 12/4/2006. - Became Bryn Mawr's Site Supervisor on 7/16/2008. - Transitioned to Guardsmark on 1/9/2009. - Was flown to our McCalla PowerMax to interview for a position as a Supervisor in mid-May.
Love Life: - Separated from Ben in December 2006. - Went on a few dates in Summer 2007 with various women. Nothing serious developed. - Dated Mallory from February 2008 to Late March 2008 - Dated JJ from September 2008 to May 2009 - Have been dating my current girlfriend, Laura, since May 21, 2009.
Moving/Housing: - Hotel-hopped and couch-surfed from July 2007 to December 2007. - Lived with my friend Mark from December 2007 to October 2008. - Moved into an apartment in Elgin with a couple of local furs in October 2008. - Kicked one roommate out in January 2009 for lying and stealing. - Gained another roommate in March 2009. - One roommate (the other leaseholder) up and left in May 2009. - Current roommate will be moving in October 2009. - I will be having another friend move in Ocotober 2009. - I will be renewing my lease in October 2009.
Cars: 2006 would put me at having Aurora, wouldn't it? - Had Aurora (1997 Ford Escort LX Wagon) until December 2007. - Bought Marauder (2000 Dodge Intrepid) on December 24, 2007. - Paid off Marauder on July 6, 2009. - Going for the Motorcycle Safety Foundation class in Kankakee on Saturday afternoon.
~~~
Well, it looks like LJ's back, so I'm going to resume my normal posting there. Come find me there if you wish to read about more of my exploits and thoughts!
